New Years Resolutions

We all do it, make resolutions that is. We sit around at the end of the year reflecting on our lives and think about something we want to change. For some it’s a fault they have that they want to tackle and for others it’s simply a way to improve their lives or even the world around them.

It would not surprise most people to find out that the top five New Year’s Resolutions involve the following things:

1. Lose Weight

2. Get Out of Debt

3. Spend More Time With Family

4. Quit Something (Smoking, Drinking)

5. Make More Money

While all of these intentions are solid choices (and in most cases things that would improve a person’s quality of life) over the past decades we’ve seen these attempts fall flat. After all, it’s human nature to repeat our behavioral patterns (especially the bad ones).

In honor of our average and even cliché resolutions here are some new ones to stand in their place. Maybe these will help you gain some footing in the search for the one you can stick with or at least make you laugh.

·I will bathe less to conserve water and in turn save the environment.

·I will not use the same excuses to skip out on work, I will think of new ones.

·I will not waste my time thinking about the past; instead I will worry about the future.

·I will stop texting my significant other while we are in the same room.

·I will think of an eight character password other than “password”.

·I will start buying lottery tickets at a luckier convenience store.

·I will thank my favorite barista by leaving my straw paper on the counter instead of the floor.

·I will consider medical workers by wearing clean underwear – just in case.

·I will learn new things by watching more television.

·I will help secure the job market in the tobacco industry by smoking more.

·For my own sake I will never again take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time.

·I will stop updating my Facebook status every five minutes. (Note to self: Add to Facebook status.)

·I will find a new ringtone and acknowledge that “Baby Got Back” is offensive while ringing at church.

·I will stop spending $75 at McDonalds trying to win Monopoly and admit that I’m a sucker.

·I will stop caring more about the breed of Obama’s dog and start caring more about his policies.

·I will not say “LOL” or “WTF” out loud, in conversation.

·I will drink less so that I don’t end up like this guy:

·I will stop buying useless things like DVD rewinders.

·I will treat my girlfriend better and not make her carry in all of the groceries, by herself, while I watch.

·I will not take myself or these above too seriously.

Despite how much we try we will fail at our resolutions but this year we dare you to break the cycle. Fail, but keep trying. Eventually you might get somewhere… and if not, there’s always next year.

What’s your New Year’s resolution? Visit us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/CharlotteRage